Another installment in our continuing series of articles for the groom is how to get the groom involved in the wedding preparations
Involving the Groom in 10 Easy Steps
He's popped the question. You've chosen a date and decided on a location.
For the Bride there are many decisions to be made, but what about the groom? How can he feel like a part of the planning?
Here are ten ways to involve the groom without increasing the stress load for both of you.
1) Delegate areas that may be of interest to him.
These are probably worth running by your guy:
* Selecting the DJ or the band
* Setting up and maintaining your wedding website
* Researching and selecting charities, if you choose to donate instead of giving out favors
* Setting up the carriage, limo or other transportation arrangements
2) If you want his opinion on photographers, invitations, flowers or cakes, narrow down the options to three or four. He's less likely to feel overwhelmed, and more likely to feel like an important part of the process.
At times, it'll feel so good to share the load that you'll be tempted to drag him into the cake tasting. Unless he loves cake, call your mother or your maid of honor.
3) Ask him directly for help.
Let him know how important his input is to you, and that you can't do it without him. Guys like to be needed. Your frank request for help may be enough to pull him out of his comfort zone and onto your team.
4) Try the Director/Producer approach.
If you think your guy wants to help, but feels uncomfortable, give him responsibility tasks. Have him make the payments, pick up the food or decor, handle the rentals, do online comparison shopping, or reserve the hotels and reception halls. These are all jobs that will take a load off your shoulders, while freeing up time for the aesthetic stuff you probably enjoy and he doesn't.
5) Get a calendar and put all the planning in black and white.
Your fiancé probably doesn't have the first clue in what goes into a wedding.
Get your wedding planner, write it all down, and you'll both probably be able to identify areas that interest him. Make lists of the things you've each agreed to do, and cross them off as they get done. At the very least, he'll be far more supportive when he sees what you're going through.
6) Weave his family heritage/ethnicity/traditions into the ceremony.
He might ask his parents about their wedding, and find your wedding consequently enriched. Look through their wedding album together. Are his ancestors German, Polish, Italian, Croatian, Asian? Incorporate some old-world traditions into your ceremony.
7) Don't bring him in too early.
If he's like most guys, the wedding won't become real to him until it draws closer. Expect him to jump in about six months before the actual ceremony, and break into a frenzy of activity about one month in advance.
8) Talk about something besides the wedding.
Guys aren't the only ones who complain about brides-to-be talking of nothing but upcoming nuptials. Sometimes, even girlfriends get overwhelmed by all the wedding chatter.
9) Ask his opinion.
When you ask for his opinion, take it seriously. And when you give him ownership of a task, don't second-guess every step.
10) Remember that men become wedding experts by having one.
Chances are, your sweetheart will open his eyes to the wonder of a wedding by the time the rose petals are tossed. Forever after, he'll be examining friend's receptions with a practiced eye, and offering up advice to all his friends.
More wedding planning ideas.